Do not expect me to kiss ass, I do not need to do that-when I am annoyed, I think I look like this., very rough week. - Eireen Diokno Bernardo

Eireen Diokno Bernardo

Do not expect me to kiss ass, I do not need to do that-when I am annoyed, I think I look like this., very rough week.

12/21/2013

I know I can be accommodating to a fault but I can also be "pinaka-alanganing tao," if prompted to be one. I can be three times ill than what you will give me. It is not because I have this highest perception about my self, but for you to understand what was given before my patience run off.

I always say this to a lot of my friends-- it is not my responsibility to correct other people, do not expect me to consul you, go to your mother if you need to feel good. Do not expect me to kiss ass, I do not need to do that. I do things because I feel it is necessary, it is for the good, for what is fair, not because I need to uphold professionalism.

It is my hope my work, my results, how I carry things will speak of who I really am in all the businesses, affiliations, projects, and other people I have worked with. I am not perfect in doing everything, but I swear to you I never stop on things until it will become one.

Sometimes even if my gut feel will tell me to stay away, logic and other factors will prompt me to override. I resent the fact when that happens it normally backfires
on me.

That is why I do select people who I associate myself with. I need to do that because I know sometimes it will take

everything of me to someone, to something who I will devote time with. Also I know if I am not careful the dark side of me will surface again and again, and I will hate my self if I have hurt someone in the process. When remorse comes, it means it is too late.

When I am annoyed I feel I'm somewhat looking like this kahit naiinis ako, sana!

I am a woman, sometimes a man. Most of the time I live my life online.

Maybe to some they will find my lifestyle unusual, for a lot of things I do is digitalized, made public to expressed what I want, and what I want to happen.

I AM NOT A WRITER -
I am not trying to be a writer, I am so poor at it, a lot of the time I embarrass myself in trying to be one. I think my brain is not rigged to process words I like to write, I always end up typing another word different from what I wanted to say. This is not to mention it's normal for me to misspelled words and joggle English with Filipino grammar, yet still you will find me writing very long text, it is a big irony for me too, why I keep on trying.

AN ARTISAN -
I am an artist in heart. I am moved with images that speaks about life, feelings, insights, culture, heritage, history and faith. Sometimes the internet is my refuge, my escape, my friend.

AS A WOMAN -
I am a woman of will, I need to become one, needing to be strong is an understatement. I believe I am summoned by GOD to be one. Maybe because I have to be for I am a mother of three beautiful souls. I have no other choice but to be strong just like any other woman who care and knows how to love. My will motivated by love is my ultimate tool that powers me as a female.

TO MY CHILDREN -
Nurturing and letting go, loving and wanting, protecting and allowing, teaching and letting it be is a confusing task I am face everyday. To balance all of which as a mother is a daunting task, it is exhausting, most of the time I wonder if it is really possible to achieve the right balance required for motherhood.

My only trust is GOD will embrace my children too, just like what HE always do to me when things are all wrong., when things are so hard. It is my everyday prayer good or bad GOD's presences will always be with them.

RELATIONSHIP -
I am a daughter, a grand-daughter, a sister, a loving sister. I am a sister in law, a niece, a cousin, a ninang and a bff. I like to show God's love to all of them around me, in turn I also feel blessed with all of them around me.

I am born with something, I have a good family. I do not have a rug to richness fairy tail story. I am born enjoying the fruits of my grandmother's hard work. We are treated like prince and princesses; always like a child in their eyes. We are loved, we are protected, we are provided for. I am listened to within the family I grow up with, my opinion and what I want for my family is respected. The only gift I can give back to them as token of gratitude is honor.

POOR OR RICH-
I can be poor, there are times I choose to be one, it does not matter to me.

Having money and not having money is normal. No one should brag about their status in life, because you will always be subjected with someone who has far more than you. Anyway what ever you have always, it will never be enough.

Poor or rich there is honor to it.

AS A WORK FORCE-
I am normally a boss, a project leader, a chief operations manager, a consultant. I could also be a partner. I like to think I can work with anyone side by side. Occasionally I am a servant. I feel glad when I have a chance to do one.

AS A WIFE -
I believe I am the worst of its kind, I am very poor being one. The more I try to be perfect, the more I fail as one. Because of that, I hate being too married.

But I believe in commitment, to honor what is right, no matter how hard, no matter how sacrificial the requirements is, I will forever commit to what I think is right.

I think a spouse or a partner is not a possession to keep. A wife or a husband is an individual with their own souls, with their own thinking and aspirations, that should not be controlled, repress because of marital obligations.

Marriage should be bonded base on honest, sincere respect with utmost willingness to give or to give way.

I do not believe there is such a thing as soul-mate, but I believe in mutual admiration, affection, submission, loyalty, and the irony of fidelity and freedom.

AN ENEMY-
I can be a competition, or a terrible adversary, sometimes an enemy, I rarely keep my opinion to myself against someone who I have bad feeling with. Even I despise myself when I feel ill with someone.

What I can only assure to those who like a duo with me; it will take a lot for anyone to make me reach to a tipping point. It is rare for me to immediately react on provocation without calculating the odds and the elements I can leverage, which can result good gains on my favor.

In times of war do not expect any opponent to fight fair.

PATIENCE - 
Contrary to what my friends think I do have patience, I pray hard for it. I ask God to bless me with such virtue, to help me tolerate and give understanding to others who are critical of me. I need to learn how to respect opinion even if it is not favorable to me or to my ears.

As long as there is no fabrication, no exaggerations, each one of us is entitled to how we perceive things. You will earn my respect as long as you are honest with me regardless how odd your truth is.

RESPECT-
I will never demand respect from anyone, but I will try to earn RESPECT from people who I value.

MONEY MATTERS-
I am a business strategist, an investor, an owner, a debtor, a payor, a payee. I am a risk taker, an executioner, an occasional loser. I will settle everything I legitimately owe. I do honor my words even if it will take me my whole life time to do so. I always go back to the people who I owe promises.
Money is not the root of evil. It is the fear of not having that turn someone greedy.

LOSES
I know when to let go especially if it will make me loss more; for the sake of peace some times it is best just to forgive (Matthew 18:27 - KJV)

"Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt."

YET I am not expecting any entitlement for pardon, cancellation or forgiveness. I will wish heaven will see my heart and help me amend to all who I did wrong regardless of reasons and intention.

I am thankful, I am not afraid to take some blows, to endure loses, to have nothing. I do not mind.

GAIN-
In life we will always have blessings. We will always have something to count. We will always be given chances to flourished and enriched ourselves; it is just a matter how good or awful, how ignorant we are in managing our gains.

CHALLENGES
I enjoy challenges. I live as if I am injected with adrenaline serum and look for challenges I can unleash the energy accumulated inside of me. I besiege what is seemingly impossible. I am DARNA.

HUMILITY -
I can't make my self humble, I need to ask GOD to touch me with humility.

I appreciate those who knows how to show appreciation, people who can give sincere praises for others. For me those who can express their admiration to other are the real people who are blessed with HUMILITY.

PRIDE -
I hate it, I am confused with it, I never learned how to tame it inside of me. It is sometimes a rage, demanding entitlement, feeling of being so deserving to be respected.

On the other hand, PRIDE is also a the time I feel
happy and so proud of my self, for things I have done, for the things own, for the things that is around me.

PRIDE is a feeling of being capable of doing, regardless if it is good or bad. It is being happy with your talent or skills.

But I also know it is pride that gives me survival, it is being afraid of losing. I welcome pride as an instinct, to protect what I think is right.

ENVY -
Is a by-product of pride.
I pray envy will not eat me. I pray to be meek and low, always recognizing the presence of GOD to help me overcome envy.
Sometimes envy is painful.

TIME -
In the natural sense of it time can't be duplicated, it is always diminishing and it is relevant to exhaustion.

Time is physical. It is like a space it can only be occupied once. Therefore time is just one passing second for our family. A diminishing moment relevant to physical limitation for our career.

TIME & CAREER?

I am a woman, sometimes a man. I am Eireen Diokno-Bernardo thank you for liking my page.

www.fb.com/eireendioknobernardo

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